I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
