I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
