Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize