The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
