I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
