Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
