All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
