I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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