well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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