I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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