idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
