just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think i have two assholes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
