I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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