i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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