She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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