That's intense
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
