she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
