I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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