oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
