Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
