just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
