Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
