don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
