Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
