Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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