This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
