if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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