so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
