He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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