Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
