She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
