This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
