I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
