I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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