Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
