She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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