she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
