just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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