Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I understand Curling. That high.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize