I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
