just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
