What a fucking waste of an outfit
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
