when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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