Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
