I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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