dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
