Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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