My brain says no but my pants say off.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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