This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
