...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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