Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
