Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm so fucking centered right now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
