my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
