just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
