Umm I'm too high to move.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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