You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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