sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
