Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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