I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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