y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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