a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize