Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
