he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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