its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
