it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
